Have done something I know I am regretting. It came with a situation I was not in favor of. Not what I should have done but did. Made eruptions of unfit emotions for the night.
I don't want pressure. It makes me think of things I shouldn't. I don't like the pain. the depression. maybe I shouldn't be left alone. I might not make it tomorrow. Or its not I shouldn't be left alone. The first time it happened, I was in front of someone -- my mother. Triggered by her, I know I'm not right. But shouldn't I deserve something like understanding. I know I'm not good with resorting to the right thing like solving the problem. But I can't help it when my mind screams I wanna be out of there.
Maybe tomorrow I won't be here. Maybe the following day, month, year. Only God knows.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
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