Rose that was once precious

Flowers speak emotions.  Red dazzling roses paint the town red.  Let glitter sprinkle the eye of its beholder.  Red roses that speaks for itself.  Three red roses that presumes the sweetest three letter word.  I love you.  Playful words said to court your someone dear, it began with poems like this, everyone loves to hear ...

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Sugar is sweet; 

And so are you.

and I put up ...

Roses are red

Pieces are love

Three buds to bare,

Speaks I love you in air.

Then clock ticks freewill,

Those roses be red still?

Time turns change

Scarlet turns brown

Beauty lure beast

Precious come trash.

Much like love

 Dazzling then be dazzled.

When dazzle has gone

Will love still be around?

Withered as it is

Silhouette of glitz as once has been

If true love strike

True beauty will be glorified still

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I came along with these pieces as I was rearranging my room.

Want it seen withered but still withered and beautiful.

Now I need to find a tube to fit it in so I can keep it good.

Chick.en

A potential motivator for side skills are offered this day.   Ria Bautista posted if someone could make a logo for her upcoming designed shirts and I've asked about it.  She told me if I would make a logo for a given name that will not be too loud nor outspoken but simple and has witty humor.  Mm, tempting.  It could be easy, if I'll start sketching it and tweak it with everybody's bestfriend -- the photoshop.  

As I was trying to formalize my foreseen layout and actually starting the piece.  I don't know, I just burned out and continued not finishing it.  Chickened out? Spare me.  That would be one thing that I could make for hours without boring myself.  I could do wild ideas with it.  But I am not really sure what happened there, may be I really was afraid then.  There could be a lot potential artist way better than me.  I am so pretty lame, really.

I don't really know anything there, all I know is to draw... draw, sketch, take a pen or pencil and doodle whatever pleases my mood -- the girl in front of me, the professor noting nothing in front, the chair, the notebook ... the tree.  I sketch when I'm in the mood, when I'm anxious with what I'm studying (I trace my tree on the top page), when I'm happy :) and when I'm so down (I want the illustration will portray and feel the emptiness I have inside, it does work).  This is my frustration.  It feels good expressing it here.  I just want to embed somewhere that one day, I would flourish this with more than just illustrations, I want to paint.  And fcuk me I'm stepping one backward from this because I'm getting low self esteem for it.  I backed out from an opportunity to showcase my potential.  Ironic attacks.

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sorry.i.went.lame.with.fighting.over.a.so.lame.stuff. am.being.stupid.

I miss my lair! :) Good to be infront of a our old desktop again.  Although I am still fixing its probs. 

I got pissed. I was blogging my thoughts like last two nights using my mobile, (because lappie's still with the service center) and when I was done and hit the post button. Viola! It didn't post. :(  I didn't bother to retype it, my thoughts ran away.  Anyways, i'll post again soon.

Colors changed. I am gay tonight.  Hope it will be still long til this colors will be changed to dull.
The colors reflect my emotions and what I feel.

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its late...will go to sleep, my pillow is sending me to bed now...

Go on and multiply!

Why do at present there are lots of arising modified Catholic religions.  Yes it is given that there are other sects with totally different belief. There are Buddhism in which Buddha is their form of god, Islam which they raise their hearts to Allah, and and others like Judaism and Taoism where were already present thousand of years ago.  Different beliefs for their own god but in realization people just find their own way of showing belief that a certain god exists in front of them, as their form of hope that they could hold on something as they go on with their every day lives. 

But why do at present there are innumerable modified religion, most especially for the Catholicism in which in general they all still believe God per se exist.  Its just that  they have perceive it in various ways.  The bible is still what they hold in their hands, its just that they read and interpret it differently.  It was prophesied that many false prophets will arise carrying the Lord's name and spreading false beliefs of their existence.  Is this already that?  Actually, most of this modified and diversed forms of Christianity were born because these pioneers had found flaws with the Roman Catholic church's teachings.  They perceived the church then as opportunistic and live the bible's teaching differently.  This originated centuries back and still continuously perceived as that.  Well, every person may have a different perspective on a same object. It doesn't mean that one could be wrong. It will depend on the situation.  What matter really is how God perceives our actions.  Nobody is perfect.  Compromise is just a few steps behind change.  If only the original teaching of the church is open for change and believers are ready to adapt with this.  There will be lesser oppositions and stronger belief for the believers.  People have become detailed with every aspects of the Christian teachings. If they see some flaws they will see it as against God.  Some do react violently and publicly expressing pessimistic views.  With this, they just promote hatred for each other. 

One purpose God asks for us is to go on and multiply.  This really  could not literally mean to conceive more but to save a soul,  spare a life and bring back to Christianity.  Teach others about their purpose of existence and at least save another soul during their lifetime. Simple but complex.  

I've learned this through these recent years and from some people that touched my soul with warmth. Thank you for all those fruitful encounters.

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my two cents for the week. Happy Easter. :)

I heart you online

A supposed friends to lovers story but hadn't pursued for flaws, misunderstandings, differences, fights, tempers took place.  The two character are my good friends and acquaintance, one had asked to write something about them.  Haven't thought of anything that would relate to them.  So instead, I wrote their story as how I've perceived it on a third person's point of view.  I am open to be stand corrected, so if there are violent reactions coming from you two, do approach me civil haha.

Two different person met in a place where difference in time and place is possible.  Two different people jived and shared common interests and witty ideas.  Two different yet similar personalities learned each others characters.  Prior, they already have their own viable worlds and here they let each other be exposed to this.  The people around them know each other's existence then.  Their girlfriends even became a friend.  They had been each other's friend for quite sometime.  There even came to a point where they talk longer than with their girls.  Enjoyed each others company.  Wondering if their girls get jealous with this?  Well could be, but they had been just uncomplicated friends, filled with amusements.  A dear friend would even think there could and would be more than a friendly emotion sticking around the corner for this two.  Well, there could be but much will be at stake if they let that materialize.  

One did became honest.  It is not that she would want more with what they already have but that she could not present what she thought she could.  She might have figured  that it couldn't work out between them.  She tried to keep distance by not talking to the other one.  That could might make things easier for them.  Or had it been really that way.  The other one then decided that it should not be more than that too.  Seemed more easier.  I could here the I heart you online song you've sent :)

But then as it had been decided, the situation came right.  Just as it had been decided to be mere close friends.  Their environment changed.  Eventually they both became single, the causes were not really related with this, solely between those involved in those relationships.  New people starts to mingle with their lives too.  Their perspective have been a bit different with what they have with previously.  

Will their story turn to more than friends or will it still remain and could even pop like a bubble and be gone forever.

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clue:  One starts with A and the other M. :)  but I prefer to call the latter, C.  She is the master and I'm one of her angels, although I forgot who the other two were. lolz

Ang taong mahal mo o ang taong mahal ka?

Sinong pipiliin mo.  Ang taong mahal mo o ang taong mahal ka?

If you're in the verge of this, two different people and you are to choose between them, who would you pick? Well most would pick the latter.  Mas mararamdaman mong secured ka and mas posible na it'll be a two way relationship.  Not just you loving.  Matututunan mo din naman daw syang mahalin.  Pero matututunan nga ba?  It is your brain that tells you who really to love, but its your heart that says who you really love.  Your brain can't just teach your heart who to place inside.  These are two conflicting ideas kung sino ang dapat sundin.  Eto yung decision na madaling pag-isipan pero mahirap panindigan.  Eto madalas yung pinipili ng mga taong ayaw ng sakit ng ulo at sakit ng puso.  Ayaw nilang masaktan sa huli na baka hindi naman sila mahalin ng taong mahal nila kaya pinili nila ung taong mahal sila kasi dito may kasiguraduhan na sasaya sila.  Pero eto din ung decision na oo sasaya ka, pero hanggang kelan?  Baka kasi natutuwa ka lang sa taong mahal ka, sa kabutihang pinapakita nia, sa sayang nararamdaman mo dahil may nagmamahal sayo.  Pero hanggang kelan to, pano kung makita mo ulit yung taong mahal mo, baka mapunta ka ulit sa pagpili.  Pano kung hindi kana ulit masaya sa taong mahal ka.  Ano pa yung panghahawakan mo at nagstay ka pa din sakanya.  Dahil mahal ka niya?  Hindi ba parang isang walang kwentang rason yun.  Dahil sasaktan mo lang kayong dalawa sa katagalan.   Lalo na't pagdumating kana sa puntong bakit nga ba siya ang pinili mo.  Kapag ito yung desisyong pinili mo, dapat handa ka na din na turuan ung puso mong mahalin sya.  Pero bago ka pumasok sa relasyon na to, andun kana sa prosesong nag-uumpisa ka ng mahalin sya.  Dahil hindi tanga ang puso mo para sundin ang utak mo na mahalin nalang basta basta ang isang tao kung hindi naman talaga kaya mahalin ng puso mo ang taong ito.  Pwede ding dahil hindi mo magawa mahalin ang taong ito ay dahil may laman ng iba ang puso mo.  Sabi nga nila, sa pag ibig, sino ang pinakamatinding kalaban? third party? flirts? goodlooking and heartthrobs (crush mo, yung patay na patay ka.lolz)? hindi.  Yung pagmamahal bago ikaw.  So kung may taong nandyan na sa puwang na yan.  Turuan mo munang alisin ng sarili mo ang taong yan sa puso mo bago mo mailagay ang bagong taong ito sa bagong buhay mo.  Kahit ilang taon o dekada pa ang gugulin mo sa pagtuturo sa puso mo kung meron ng laman ito, para kang musmos na nagpupumilit maging matanda -- pwede pero panlabas lang.

Kung ang taong mahal mo naman ang pipiliin.  Walang kasiguraduhan na mahal ka din nia o magiging kayo ba talaga.  Para mo na ding sinabi na handa kang mag-isa at kakaririn mo ang maging loner sakaling it would not turn out well.  Pero sila yung mga taong risk-taker o yung handang sumugal.  Matapang sila in the sense na paninindigan nilang sumaya kung saan magiging masaya yung puso nila.  Mas nakakahinga sila ng maluwag dahil hindi nila kelangang turuan ang sarili nilang ipilit ang isang tao sa puso nila.  Mas nakakangiti sila ng maluwag makita ang mahal nilang masaya at hindi ipilit ngumiti sa taong alam nilang hindi nila mahal. 

When you're in this dilemma, it is not just a one-sitting decision making to create.  This will have an impact with your emotions and personal life.  Think of it for its long run effect and not just for what you have today.  Yes you may be happy with your decision today, but for how long?  How would it go with the people involve? It is good to think of yourself first but then bear also in mind that the people around you are human too, they've got emotions too and its not just something that you can just messed up with.  Whatever you do to the people involve bears something, it may be little things, may be not that big nor significant but time will come that it will have a bearing when these pile up and become relevant for them to make their decisions too and can make the story the other way around.  Them being the agonist and you just a passersby.

There is no ideal happy ending waiting for everyone. One may end up being alone.  Another may be in an undeserve situation.  There may be couple who are not really compatible for each other.  Or they may be compatible for each other but they chose to partways for a variety of personal reasons.  Whatever situation one may be, it is them who made those decisions bringing them in to whatever situation they are at present.  It is them and only them to blame with whatever event they are presently in to.  So be careful with each descision one makes.  Rome is not made in a day.  Neither your future and happiness is. So be wise with each piece of it.  Give time minding each pros and cons entailed with each action you make and with each person you've decided to be with.

For that happy ending.  It is when two people patch things up in their relationship.  They cared to share compromises, theit imperfections -- this is where happy ending starts.

Here are my two cents to share with this situation.  Though off topic for this holiday.  This  is usually a random situation asked by random people.

 

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and yours truly is writing this copying from my phone due to the fact that i can't create it here in my lappie because its killing my eyes for the moderate stuttering of its Lcd.

**if there are errors ill edit it again.still have a final run for this.in fairness, its harder to write in tagalog than in  english .. words seems not to fit at all. i'll revise this soon lolz.