Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Made me cry :( i realized i love my life.

There are things that could mean little or even nothing to you but could mean the world for another.  

We went earlier to our Business Policy and Strategy class.  We will surprise our professor Ms. Guerra.  It is actually her 60th birthday days before, well its better late than never :).  The class was really promptly beautiful, with party decorations. Small balloons filled the front, a cake with long thin sparkler candles, and a musical candle that sings happy birthday tune.  The room was dimmed and we seated while waiting for her to come.  My classmates even covered the glass window on the doors for her not to see -- might spoil our little surprise :).

There she opened it.  She just stood there, like weighing if she'll come in.  A warm heartful smile covered her face.  She really liked it.  It was actually what we expected -- to make her smile.  For the month we've been with her, she seemed to project that intimidating aura around her.  Yes she makes us laugh at her jokes but there is still the decent reputable image that tells us she is something.  That we should respect her.  

The lady that entered the room seemed to be a different one.  She was all smiles and was not really like our professor.  She seemed blacken out of what to say to us.  I had the idea that she would just thank us for our witty surprise then go on to proceed to our lesson for this day.  But then, she actually thanked us.  She just sat there then opened up to us.  She unraveled the what seemed permanent mask she had been portraying.  She spoke her heart out.  

You cannot really have both worlds.  There will still be something that will be missing.  Yes, every human has no contentment until he realize that no contentment idea and be contented with what he really have, there he will have the most.  Our professor, lets just say she have reached the prime of her life.  She have traveled around the world, met lots of big people and have obtained the luxury for the material things a woman could wished for.  She actually owns several houses and a 15hectar farm, much for calling her haciendera.  Other would really envy her status.  She could actually leave teaching and still have a prosperous life with her other sources of income.  She is now on her retirement age, I could say that ishe had pretty attained the success in life one could wish.  But then, that are just all facade of what she is.  She is full of material things on the outside but widely empty on the inside.  She had been successful not just by herself, she made her siblings to finished a degree and even struggled to help them to attain on who they are now.  Some prominent person on different parts of the world.  She helped her parents live a life in the US.  When you look at her status, you can tell she have it all.  But to her, it is all bluff.  She have no one.  

She actually stayed single.  So much for keeping the struggle to attain her status now.  She was from a poor family, from a poor little town.  That kept her to pursue her dreams.  She prioritized her career and her family, made no time to find that someone that could stay by her side no matter what.  She confessed she didn't even felt how to love the real love one could offer her better half.  Way back, boys for her are just nothing.  That they could tell you charms and everything nice and sweet but then they could be like that to another girl when you're not around.  Probably she had lived with that presumption and didn't gave her heart the chance to feel how is it to be loved and to love back.  Those sweet nothings and even petty quarrels lovers had.  She was focused with the idea to fight poverty that she lost track of her time.  She kidded was born Ms. Leah Guerra and will die Ms. Leah Guerra.  She had aged.  

She was for a while thinking how great she had been with what she had attain.  Then struck her that she is now actually 60 years old.  On her retirement age.  Her life had passed by.  She had everything yet no one to share it with.  She is alone and somber in her big house and empty room.  She had a full day everyday yet  at the end of the day, no one to chat with how her day had been.  Yes, she has her son but he is having his own life to live now out of country.  Now that she is celebrating her 60th birthday, she is actually celebrating it alone.  Few out of her 11 brothers and sisters had called to greet her on her very special day.  Even her mom was not able to greet her but probably due to old age.  Our heart made an attempt to sink at the bottom seeing her cry like that.  Full of regret with what her life might have been if she had take a rest to pursue her dreams and just build her very own family to bring home.  She is actually celebrating it with us her students, her co-faculties, with the school.  Seeing this how our little scheme made her day so heartwarming one.  It could really mean so little to us but meant her reflection to what her whole life had been. :(

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