One more chance

I used to hate this movie and at the same time like the story. lol.
This is an animated version of it.  :)





Never fails to wet my eyes. Maybe had been real in one of my chapters.
The angel won't slip away from my thoughts whenever I see this.  Wake me up from this dream.

Someone has told me:

You cannot love two person at once.   On the other hand, it is not impossible to love one person while enjoying the affection of another.


Makes sense?
Ponder.



====================
off to dreamland.
Le bebe de bonne nuit.

Make a list of 25 things you want to experience before you die ...
and refer to it often.


1.  I want to try bungee jumping.
2.  I wanna be a go kart driver.
3.  I want to go to Ireland.
4.  I would want to be in a high position on a multi-national firm.
5.  I wanna learn how to paint ... I want portraits :)
6. I want to have an art gallery, preferably paintings and sketches.
7. I want to own my very own franchise of McDonalds.  and I need at least 25M Php for it. grrr
8. I want to be a writer on a newspaper or a mag :). I'll have my own book someday, hope someone will take interest to read it lolz
9. 
10. 
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
21.
22.
23.
24.
25.


Soon, this will be all filled.  Hope that someday, i'll be able to experience it all :).  Not bad to dream, at least i dreamed. :)

pick them cautiously

I just learned to pick your friends cautiously.  Not all of them are true.  Some may hurt you much and tell a different you.  One reason is they may not know you wholeheartedly.  They looked at you in just a one side perspective.  And most probably, that thing that you wouldn't like the most.  But worse is if they tell to others gossip about you and worsen it with make up ones to make their part of the story better.  Here comes the worst part, they will still befriend you telling you that they are just there for you no matter what.  Again, to make them take a better role in the story.  Okay lets give them the benefit of the doubt.  They may really want to be your friend.  But still, pick what you will relate to them.  You'll never know when they are true to you or not. 

===============

school officially ends today. :)

i feel ironic.  happy coz i won't wake up early and go to classes for a while

sad because i'll miss some of my dear professors though sometimes, they could be pain in the ass lolz.

happy to came across an old friend. caught up with the old stuffs and talk.

prayer got answered

Got a 'ewan' moment this morning.  The puppy is still sick.  I was praying to God to make him better.  I did some bargaining.  I bargained my exam result just for the pup to get better.  haist.  I thought about it, it is a life and the other is just an exam.  I know that could become reality but still I pursue.  When the class at the review started.  I received my folder, looked at my paper and guess what --- I flunked. huhu.  I didn't know if I will be depressed because of my score or a bit happy because it could mean that Charlie could get better.  My silly ideas floats around again.  I am not really happy with my test, I was sure I know the exam unlike the previous one which I was on top 3.  But well, it was just a test.


We left the center early, we will bring the pup at the vet because he might be deteriorating. When we saw him, he was still weak.  But now he could get up and walk, he eats better although he continually sleeps. Probably trying to regain his strength.  I could see that he will get better.  He just needs to poop after with the mineral oils we administered to him.  *fingers crossed*


Fate or concidence?
oh well, still I flunk the test. period.



=================
someone's making herself be missed by another.
and its working.

Toxic Tuesday

I had one of the toxic evening last night. :( Well, it would be just like the usual review hours for series of exam tomorrow. 2 exams at school and a major exam at Kaplan after lunch.  But then one of the puppy was sick.  He was crying and became so weak. So much to bear, I could cry too because I couldn't bear seeing him so weak and wants to poop but cannot :(. He barely drinks the sugared water and would just sleep so he wouldn't feel the pain :(. waaa.  I woke up at around 2 am to study but I spent the next hour comforting him.  I broke my <3.  But, he was just a pup then.  Still, I feel responsible for him becoming that, for the night before we fed them baby food.  He slept afterwards, one reason he suffered tummy ache and constipation.  Funny, we were trying to induce him to poop but we didn't had the right things. We tried putting oil at his behind and inserted thermometer to stimulate it.  No luck. I was praying so hard for him to be okay. Well, he is part of the family and I think I would cry if he'll be gone :(.  crybaby me.  

Today is wednesday, am waiting for my sister, then we'll took an exam at school.  She took the pup at the vet.  They're now inducing him to poop.  Hope he'll be okay soon.  He might be confined at the clinic.  Well, I hope not.  I felt relieved :)

==================

i miss someone.  

the name with lots of Es. haist.

Emperor's Club

         

A film about life, lies and about how a teacher is full of will for his students, that is, what every teacher has, the passion to teach.  But then there is one failure that the professor, Mr. Hundert, cannot undo even at the very beginning – when Sedgewick became his student.  One mistake of Mr. Hundert here is that although he believed that this pertinent student has more potential to open (which is good) but he solely focused on him and forgot the others.  His eyes were blinded with the thought that he could mold Sedgewick into becoming a better person and a fruitful future is ahead of this kid.  He may be right on this, but he came to a point where he stepped out of his league and favored this student when another one should be more rightful for that position, I am pertaining on the third slot for Mr. Julius Caesar contest. 

The story ran around with the school’s motto, the end depends upon the beginning.  Where does a young child starts learning?  It is at home, with his parents and guardian where they learn to trust a person and walks with his parents supporting him, guiding him in every failed step and praising him with every milestone he accomplished.  Although Mr. Hundert’s strong will to change Sedgewick to a better student were not that strongly emphasized, there was this one occasion that struck me where Mr. Hundert and Senator Bell was having a conversation where the latter firmly pointed out that the teacher should just merely teach his son his timetables.   The moment I heard the father said it, I immediately contest it and agree to Mr. Hundert.  But as the story goes, I also learned that Mr. Bell is correct and I will elaborate on this.  Yes, it is the parents that should mold their children.  The parents are the first teachers for these youngsters when still at home.  But the child’s environment, friends, enemies, even pets and their first decision making in life help them to become what they will be in their future.  School teachers do not only teach students things they needed to know.  They also help these students to become who and what they want to be when they grow up.  Their eyes are exposed to their resources and interests.  That’s why elementary school years are composed of different subjects, it is not just so students will learn their basics but so as they will also know if these particular subject matter is what they want to pursue in the future.  Teachers replace the role of the parents when a child goes in to his school years.  Teachers teach him the basic and theories of life and help him apply it in his life, that’s why teachers are called mentors.  But still, I agree that it is the parents’ responsibility and accountability for their child’s character because it is in the home that a child starts to learn his personality and what he learned from here, he will brought it until his adulthood, be it unconsciously.  He already has his own traits when entering school and this is just enhanced. 

This story had a bit surprising ending, wherein most movies like this would usually have an ending that the careless student will grow up to be a better person.  It only emphasized the motto, end depends upon the beginning.  Sedgewick was obviously raised in a family with a deceitful environment, and he as a kid was not that motivated by his primary caregiver, his parents.  He was not motivated to accept failure as a motivation to keep on trying again, rather his father rigidly inculcated to him to be perfect and not a waste.  Sedgewick grew up fearing his father in a way that he was not supposed to fail him because if he will, he would be again be rejected.  He was in the verge to prove to his father and for himself to that he could excel from others, even if gaining this could mean cheating.  That does not matter to him if it is a wrongful act, it was not emphasized to him its consequence.  And as I quote, "Youth ages, immaturity is outgrown, ignorance can be educated, and drunkenness sobered, but STUPID lasts forever."  This had been very true with Sedgewick throughout the story, although he had the opportunity to learn the moral lesson, the personality he had from his home was still brought out to his adult life and with this, stupidity comes to him and lasts his lifetime. 

There is something to thank to Mr. Hundert for changing Sedgewick to a supposed better person.  But the professor missed to show fully to this student the idea of the consequences for a wrong action.  This was not seen by Sedgewick because he is overwhelmed by his newly discovered potentials.  He did not see a wrong means for a good result would still be wrong.  He was blinded with the pleasure that this result brings to him.  He is more of a here and now thinking, and receives gratification if he succeeds to his purpose even when he did that deceiving others.  Well, both the student and teacher lied.  Sedgewick cheated on the contest and Mr. Hundert tolerated it by not telling the truth to others.  The big difference here is much to do with their character and upbringing, Sedgewick did it years later in the repeated contest.  As for Mr. Hundert, he did not exposed his student, probably because the latter will still not learn from it, instead he submitted himself to admitting his mistake to the other person involve, which is Martin, the rightful person to have been one of the competitor of the contest.  With a good upbringing from his early years, this revelation was eagerly accepted by Martin.  Here, the teacher realized that he still has his other students, that they really learned their successful years with him. 

Back to the line Mr. Hundert told the class early on the story, Great ambition and conquest without contribution is without significance. He followed this as how will one be remembered with his contribution.  A teacher is a person that can merely leave no physical contribution during his life.  His job is to teach his students and so this student will learn and pass their school years.  Then these students will graduate and will continue their own life.  As for the teacher, he will continue his duty, that year by year he teaches a new batch of students.  What will be the specific contribution of that teacher, there was no new things invented nor new theories made.  He could retire and pass this life without anything to leave here.  Is that really it? For the fact, we know that one of the best people in this world are teachers.  There was one moral story I remember from it.  Three men, lawyer, police and a teacher, had died and went to the gate of heaven and met St Peter.  They were asked what were their contributions on earth for him to let this man pass through the gate.  The lawyer said I made laws for the people to follow and be organized.  The police said, I implement the laws and put the law breakers to jail so as to fairly punish them for their wrong actions.  Very well done, said St. Peter, then he turned to the teacher.  I have not contributed anything for the world physically, but I am their teacher, I taught them how to be the professionals they were when they’re still alive.  This story may be so short but has a deep and complex context.  One of my dear teachers during my elementary years told us that one of the priced moments is to see her students graduate and see her years later to who they have become.  This could mean that she too will grow old but she will see how these students have done with their life.  It means a lot to her that she had shared her part of her life to her students and contribute to their success, in whatever form.  The prized possessions of a teacher is not their degree nor their PhDs, but their students who grew up to be the professionals with just acts these teachers had hoped for them. 

The film, I can say, is so full of things to learn.  One could reflect on some situations and apply it to events in their life.  Yes I’m aware that committing mistakes, be it in the form of white lies or to the extent of cheating or other grave offense, is an immoral and unlawful act.  But why does still everyone do it.  No one is excused, for being a human, to be alright to commit sins.  We could be blinded by our id and commit these sins but that’s why superego is just behind to let us realize what have we done.  I am no near perfect, got a lot of flaws and not that really intelligent.  I commit mistakes, some may be big ones, but as much as possible I see to it that somehow I learn from those mistakes.  I learned a lot with this film, although I am really aware with these already but this had been a defining moment, a means to let me be more aware of my actions.  I may not be able to apply it all but at least I am aware of it and when situation calls I can come up with the suitable verdict for it.

miss old me

I am feeling this again.  As I go on with my daily life now, the total opposite of what I have with before -- dependent, young and carefree.  I miss our home, where there is my momi and papa.  I miss it :(. This is the second time around.  I felt this when me and my sister lived independently because my mom went to Canada to work and live there and my dad had already passed away like 4 years at that time.  I cried so hard on my sister because of feeling empty.  She told me I am just being 'homesick'.  But in reality, we are at home.  It just figuratively meant that the I miss the life we had previously, when we are still complete.  I miss the my old life, though it was not much of independence.  My mom was so strict she would not even let us sleep in our cousin's house and will see to it that  we'll be picked up even its late.  She wouldn't let me go commute alone especially if it'll be far, and funny I wasn't suppose to sit at the very front nor the very back, it should be midway.  She would rigidly instruct me to let the cars pass and to look left to right before crossing the street.  She wouldn't let me go to far places.  To make it short, she is utterly strict.  She really baby-ed us moreover with me.  My sister even make statements 'bout it.  It was a two-way aspect.  I felt secured but  then it  also made me dependent too.  I was raised with someone had been making decisions for me, that I can go on without not even having to choose.  

And so as went to the point in my life to make the first biggest decision, my life flashed in my mind that what if I was different, what if I'm better at it.  I dumbfoundedly made that decision and its where it all started that I grew up and thought differently -- maturely.  It is when I came to deciding who to love -- the one who loves me so much or the one whom I'm presently in love with.  I chose the latter.  Although I can't say it had a happy ending but I learned a lot from it.  My views in life started in it.  I just realized I missed a lot in my life back then. 

A new chapter of my life had been opened.  New characters are in it too.  Some of the old ones are out of the picture.  I miss so many of them.  I miss my bestfriend.  If only I could still keep her.  We've decided to part ways so this is the consequence incorporated with it.  With this new chapter, I am happy for the new ones but still I miss the old me. I miss my old life. I miss my family.  I miss it all.  Sometimes it came to me that I wish I could be a child again, then my dad would still be here and my mom will be with us too.  But everything has a purpose and nothing is left here unchanged.  I have grown up and I am happy to be raised like this.  I am no near perfect, definitely with lot of flaws but I can still manage ti live my way of life with those imperfections and that is what counts.

-----------------------

p.s.: Jeri, i miss u too. *wink*.

I was kept busy with this. Felt a bit relieve. Thanks :)

going three

another month has passed.
so many things have happened.
i gave you the most difficult heartache.
i have left a crack on the thing your holding on.
am i still fit for it? am i?



ironically with whats above.
i still flash my smile for you.
i still look forward for that day.
i still dream of that reality.


with the 3 months we've been.
i just don't want you to be i heart you,
i do want you to be that face i can relate to.


-------
Happy third babe :))

Sa wakas, its nearly done. Our ebusiness report has taken shape already. :) and this should pay off good.  The professor wants us to do alot of stuff. She even wants us to create a webpage with such short notice and moving the presentation in an early date.  She didn't even think that this consumed much of our spare time, the less we have.  I have made the webpage, I badly need the extra credit. lol.  I hope I wouldn't be charge for piracy haha. I've copied a bit of the website of the company and here it is: http://ecommerceforthomsonreuters.blogspot.com/

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...yellow for me mellow...

Yin and yang of reality

I do not want to dream a happy moment, it does worse in reality.

I do not want to daydream of  a perfect event, because it will not happen in real life.

I do not want to make effort to a task, it is usually not worth it.

I do not want to be so happy, tomorrow will make me cry.

I do not want to think of it has a happy ending, we've been there and let it flew away.  We're okay but there is always something that makes it happy never and not never ending.

And what would you believe this is it ... fate or coincidence.

---------------

lappie hang on. bear with me. got a presentation to carry on this week puhleaase.

Tour at Serendra

We've met an aunt and her family early lunch today, jeez my young cousin is getting taller and talkative and the other one is barely talking just like us before.  We barely see each other now unlike when I was still so young.  They took us to lunch at Market market.  Global city really started to boom now.  My aunt handling her company told us several prospect projects by Ayala for the prospering place.  Good choice for investment.  I've visited Serendra.  Very comfy place and cafes and fine dine resto are just really close to the condos.  Some parts of the condos are even adjacent to these establishment and just even overlooking from the condo windows. :).  You can ran immediate errands for necessities within minutes.  The atmosphere is a wow.  The place is really for the uplifting.  I would love to hang out there for a while.  When we did our agenda there, an interview with the HR manager for a school requirement (really cool when you know one of the boards. lol), we even got an invite from the HR to have our OJT with them.  And she even assured us of a fruitful in-field training that we'll really really enjoy. We'll get to tour the whole city for our training with their company ( they hold the services and maintenance of the whole city in terms of landscaping, manpower services and the like).  So much for this day.  I really enjoyed it despite for being so tired and coming home a bit late and still have to study something.

I am supposed to snooze but AJ called me.  Exchange of stories, updates of the day life, we missed her here.  I was excited to tell her about the new prospect future investment.  Well she would either be interested or raise an eyebrow with it but oh well it'll be my future prospect.  She liked it too.  Asked stuff about it and of course I promoted the good things about the place lol.  I will just have to have a quote of the price range and details about it and she'll think about it.  Though I'm not sure if she's convinced but she asked me about St. Lukes, where I was supposed to try to work there.  I said its just a walking distance, and she told me will it be good to stay at the condo there.  Flashed my big smile. haha.  Cross finger girl and hope for a better tomorrow haha.  There will really  be a good benefit here as the city is gathering more business opportunities for big corporations.  

Anyways, I'll still include this for my prospect future investment.

--------------------------------
and i'm online again. arggg. back to review.
>out<